Intersectionality – it’s become 2013’s must-have concept for the cool young feminist. But does it make or break an argument? I hung out on Twitter for all of ten minutes and chatted to some good decent women – Caitlin Moran, Julie Burchill, Julie Bindel, Meghan Murphy and Kat Banyard among others. They all agreed that intersectionality is a passing fad that can sometimes be taken too far. Labels like kyriarchy, heterosexism and ethnocentric are also the buzz-words in the world of fashionable debate. But, like Paul’s Boutique and Adidas, are these labels just cool dress for words, or are they a way of marking yourself as part of a subculture?
Now I’m not trying to say that tranny-lovers and sex worker allies are as undesirable as Neds and Chavs. The women and men who use these labels – and the sex-positive label – aren’t rival gangs to be ousted or detritus that’ll be got rid of when our suburban streets are metaphorically cleaned up in the Feminist Revolution. No, they’re not. Because that would imply that in some way they’re a legitimate movement, an era-specific subculture like the Punks, Goths or Emos. In my opinion, they are nothing but TRAITORS and misguided rebels, flaunting their disregard for social convention and decent morals in the face of older, middle-class straight white feminists who have FOUGHT FOR THEIR RIGHTS. Well, the rights of middle class straight white women. Like preteens who shorten their skirts and shave swear words into their hair, these brats are rebelling against their all-knowing Sisters, their Saviours and Leaders. The ungratefulness of sex workers, LGBT women, kinksters and their allies feels like a slap in the face after all our hard work emancipating women while persecuting all these groups.
And I know just how we should put this little rebellion down: by giving whores a good spanking. Especially the disrespectful ones who keep mouthing off on blogs and try to get equal rights for themselves by organising demos and events.
And what these whores need is a good dose of fashion sense. The idea that being a feminist means you support all women is so 2,000 and late. And the idea that feminists are automatically sex worker allies? Take a time machine back to 1979, girlfriend! Unless you’re a hipster, of course. Retro.
I’m making hundreds right now on Cafepress.com. In the past I’ve felt strongly about animal rights – so you’ll never see me strutting my stuff in furs! But leopard print can be a purr-fect sexy-retro touch to an outfit, especially paired with a leather jacket. My BFF Ann Widdecombe (‘Widdy’) and I used to rock fox-fur stoles back in the day, but for me right now they’re a no-no.
I love animals – well, anything cute that can be rescued! Girly tip: It helps if the thing you’re rescuing is an on-trend issue because you’ll look great doing it! And like with whales, I want to stop whores from being hunted by bad men with hard pointy things and penetrated. But animal rights and saving whores aren’t the only causes I’ve been passionate about. Remember that dreadful Kony 2012 business? Half the viewers being all “OMG that’s terrible” and others saying that the proposed solutions were way worse than the problem? There was a lot of talk of “White Saviour” myths being behind the misguided campaign. Well, I totally disapproved of Kony 2012; the organisation had links to a massively funded anti-gay church. Just like a lot of anti-sex work organisations are funded millions by the state and American churches (e.g. Ruhama Agency – which disturbingly is run by the same people who ran the Magdalene laundries- got 14 million last year from one state department; the amount it was funded by the 2 other state departments is unknown: http://www.paddydoyle.com/laundry-orders-run-sex-workers-aid-group/ ). Well, as I was saying about Kony 2012, knee-jerk reactions over hot-button issues aren’t the answer. You’ve got to think, do research, talk to the people who’ll be affected by the changes you want to make. Unless, of course, they’re whores!
Fashion has always been my passion and I’m hoping that when I’m famous I can bring out a line of “I Heart Rapists” tees! The Nordic model will make it easier for rapists to rape whores – so hopefully they’ll rape the whores and not the good, precious women, who are our pure daughters! I also hope to bring out “Fuck Whores (but don’t pay)” badges and hoodies for adolescent boys that say “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls. They Charm And Coerce Their Way Into Bed”. I love the ‘buy girls’ and ‘use prostitutes’ terminology; it commodifies whores into a neat, sexy little package! Nobody uses sex workers or buys women of course – you’re buying sexual services, not a human being – but hey that advertising totally works the shock factor. And it’s pretty hot.
Well that’s all from me for now! R xx
Disclaimer: This blog is a parody and nothing said should be taken as true or as a true reflection of the writer’s beliefs. This blog was written by Kalika Gold. No defamation or libel is intended. This blog should be used for entertainment purposes only.